Rubbernecking
by ArtificialAorta
Summary: Steve is in the middle of a conversation when Tony Stark sniffs him. This is not going to be a good day.


**Summary**: Steve is in the middle of a conversation when Tony Stark sniffs him. This is not going to be a good day.  
**Pairings**: Darcy Lewis/ Steve Rogers, Slight Tony Stark/ Bruce Banner  
**Rating**: Teen for suggestive imagery  
**A/N**: This is the first Steve/ Darcy fic that I'm confident enough about to actually post. Been having some trouble getting Steve's voice down but I think I sort of got the knack of it...

* * *

Steve was in the middle of a conversation with Natasha and Clint about the end goal for the most recent mission when Tony sniffed him. It was a distinct and clearly audible sniff, halting any productive conversation and turning all attention onto Tony. The four members of the team sat at a long table in one of SHIELD's briefing rooms. Birdseye-view shots of a building were already set up on the screen at one end of the room and a holographic floor plan was floating on the middle of the table. All thoughts on the best way to split up the team was forgotten as Steve turned around in his chair to face Tony.

"Is something wrong Stark?" Steve asked, strain evident in his voice. He was already a little short-tempered about being pulled away for an impromptu mission. Memories of Darcy lying in his bed filtered through his mind. Lips red from kisses, cheeks flushed and face twisted with irritation at the sound of Steve's cell phone ringing.

"You smell pretty," Tony said with his ever-present smirk. It made Steve's brow furrow. He hadn't really thought about it when he quickly tugged on his clothes and made his way towards SHIELD, leaving Darcy with a final wet kiss on the corner of her mouth. It was very probable that Steve reeked of her perfume. The smell had filled his nostrils the moment she walked through the door and Steve was pretty sure he had licked all the different places on her body where Darcy liked to dab the floral scent.

Not that he was going to tell that to anyone in this room. What he and Darcy had was still somewhat new. As such, he was a little protective of it and wasn't too interested in hearing everyone's opinion right now. Because they would _all_ have opinions. Loud, possibly obnoxious, likely graphic and definitely full of snark. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with the bullshit, particularly Stark's brand of shit, especially with the knowledge that Darcy was probably enjoying the rest of her day off without Steve.

"Thanks, I'm trying a new deodorant," Steve said sardonically. The raised eyebrow from Tony said the billionaire didn't buy it. A sniff from the other side of him caught Steve's attention and he turned to find Natasha staring at him with a complacent expression. Next to her, Clint looked all the world like he wanted to sniff Steve as well and was debating whether or not he should stand up or scoot his chair over.

"Hmm….I wonder," Tony drawled, leaning back in his chair and tapping his chin contemplatively, "what in the world would make ol' Cap here smell all pretty and dolled up?"

"Cross dressing?" Clint suggested, making Steve roll his eyes.

"Were you kissing a _girl_?" asked Tony, drawing out the i. He wiped away an invisible tear and sniffled for effect. "Our Steve is growing up so fast. I'm so proud. Was there tongue or are you still working up to that?"

"I might have been kissing a woman, not that it's any of your business," Steve said before he could stop himself. "Though I could also be cross dressing. Again, still not your business."

"You finally called Kristen from Statistics," Natasha stated smugly. Before Steve could burst her bubble, Tony leaned in close to his neck and took a long whiff.

"Hey, watch it," Steve protested but Tony didn't budge.

"Wait a second," demanded Tony, taking one final sniff. "I know what smell. Where do I know it?"

"You steppin' out in dresses too? Might have found the bottle laying around the Tower," Steve joked, trying to cover up the fact he was getting nervous. Pulling away, Tony stared at Steve with suspicion. Although Jane refused to share Darcy amongst the scientists, Darcy did occasionally help Stark out in the lab if he was around or being extra whiney.

"Don't tell me the two of you are making out," Clint teased. Steve and Tony stared at him in disbelief, somewhat nauseated at the suggestion.

"He wishes he could kiss me," Tony said haughtily.

"I beg to differ," Steve scoffed. "Sorry Stark, you're not my type."

"Ouch, that hurts," Tony covered his arc reactor with his hand in mock grief. "Okay then, what is your type?"

For a hot second, Steve was going to answer with a brusque: brunettes as mouthy as they are curvy. Instead, he shut his mouth with a snap before any damage could be done. He sent Tony a glare for his troubles when the billionaire smirked at Steve almost falling for the trick.

"I don't know why you got your panties in a twist. You ashamed of this girl?" Tony tried again.

"No," Steve firmly stated, letting out a huff of frustration and raking a hand through his hair. "I just don't see how this is any of your business."

"C'mon, I thought we were family. Families don't keep secrets," Tony shrugged and Steve raised an eyebrow. A snort erupted behind them and they turned to find Darcy, Jane, Thor and Bruce entering. Darcy looked flawless in her mustard summer dress and Steve felt the strong urge to unzip her out of it again. In order to stamp out the urge, he focused on trying to figure out why Darcy was here. Bruce would be discussing the different scientific equipment that was hidden in the target building. There apparently was long list of dos and don'ts about touching or disarming them. From what Steve could work out, it seemed Jane and Darcy were going to join in on the science talk.

"Yeah they do Stark," Darcy rolled her eyes and shifted the tablet in her arms. "That's how families work. You repress and keep secrets then it all comes out after the first round of wine during Christmas dinner."

"That sounds nice," Clint said wistfully, making Darcy snort again. Never had Steve heard Darcy giggle. Her glee normally manifested itself with snorts of amusement. It was a nice sound even if Darcy hated it. But Steve liked her little snorts. They were third on his list of favorite Darcy noises, right after her belly laughs and moaning his name into his ear.

As Darcy made her way to the head of the table to set up the presentation, Tony reached out and grabbed her arm roughly. Steve tensed at the movement.

"Hey!"

"Hold on," Tony ordered, pulling Darcy closer and sniffing her.

"What's the brain damage Stark?" Darcy protested. Once Tony put two and two together, he let Darcy go and she stepped back only to have him pointing at her.

"J'accuse Lewis," Tony denounced grandly. "You too Captain Rogers. The two of you are making the nasty, aren't you?"

Neither one of them answered directly but Darcy's sputtering and Steve's grimaced silence was enough to let everyone know Tony had hit the nail on the head. All the onlookers had differing expressions. Natasha appeared pleased and a little impressed, though with Steve or Darcy, it wasn't clear. Clint was grinning like a fool. Bruce and Thor were a little confused at what had brought on the outburst. Jane didn't seem to be at all surprised while Tony was flabbergasted and brimming with self-righteousness.

"Secrets! I don't like them!" Tony threw his arms up in the air. This time, both Darcy and Steve rolled their eyes at the display.

"When you act like this, you really wonder why we kept it a secret?" Darcy raised an eyebrow, jutting out a hip and resting a hand on it. The attitude took attention away from the color rising to her cheeks. Booming laughter from Thor cut through the room.

"I sensed our Captain had eyes for Darcy," Thor said, utterly delighted at the pairing. "I saw them exchanging telling glances at the feast Lady Potts held in our honor. Not a fortnight ago now."

"You could have told us," Tony pouted sourly.

"It was not my place," shrugged Thor. "If ever I thought Steve unworthy or guilty of mistreatment towards Lady Darcy, I would have acted. They are suitable match, do not all of you agree?"

"Aw, thanks big guy," Darcy smiled, punching him lightly on the arm. As everyone else nodded in agreement, Steve couldn't help but feel touched at Thor's observations and a little relieved at his push that everyone just accept it and move on.

"We shall have a feast once this mission is complete. To celebrate!" Thor announced thunderously and Steve had to take back his faith in Thor. Last time Thor hosted a party, there had been gallons of mead and a boar on a spit, compete with an apple stuffed into its mouth. While it all tasted great, Steve didn't think his budding relationship with Darcy really needed a huge party. One glance at Darcy and it was clear she didn't think so either.

"I don't think we need all _that_," Steve argued but Tony cut in.

"I think that's a great idea," Tony said, tone suggesting he wanted a bit of revenge for not being in the loop. "I can bring the cake. What do we want on it? Congrats for Popping Cap's Cherry? Or maybe Punchin' The V-Card for America? I think a cherry cake might be appropriate."

"Obviously, money doesn't buy class," Darcy said, making Steve smile. Tony pointedly ignored the insult. With a smirk that promised Steve of the fun to come when they were alone, Darcy continued. "Or intelligence if you still think Steve was a virgin before he was on ice."

"We're going to get back to that one," Tony assured Steve and there was a number of sighs around the table at that. From the corner of his eye, Steve thought he saw Natasha and Darcy share looks of mischief. "So Darcy, what does America taste like? Justice? Freedom?"

"Apple pie and the gilded dreams of immigrants," Clint offered up and Steve buried his head in his hands. Today really wasn't his day.

"Actually, it's amber waves of grain and semen," Darcy delivered in a deadpan tone. That made Steve's head shoot back up rather quickly. Although Darcy showed some regret for the line, Steve knew he would make her pay for it later. Languidly and on her back. He shifted in his seat, trying to think of anything to lesson the tightness in pants that was on the verge of becoming a problem. Someone clearing their throat loudly caught the room's attention and everyone turned to see Nick Fury and Maria Hill.

"As interesting as this conversation sounds," Fury began, sounding as if exchange he had walked in on was the dullest he had ever heard, "can we please get back to more time sensitive topics?"

At that, the mission became the important subject once again. Maria sent Natasha a look communicating quite clearly that they were going to have a lengthy conversation of what had just occurred. That meant Steve's blissful secrecy was officially over. Within the next couple days, most of SHIELD would have his relationship status on their tongues. He was confident that he and Darcy would be able to shoulder through it but he still would miss not being in the spotlight for a change. At least Darcy was going to be by his side this time.

"Hey Bruce, you'd makeout with me, right?" Tony asked, breaking the chagrined silence.

"What? Uh, um…hmm, I'm not sure I want to answer that," Bruce frowned, rubbing his temple nervously. Unable to stop himself, Steve snickered as Fury's eyes shined with the desire to smack Tony upside the head.

"C'mon," Tony insisted, "just a little? Light fondling maybe if you get into it. Steve wants kiss me."

"No, I really don't," Steve stated loudly, mostly for Darcy's benefit. Though Darcy seemed a little too preoccupied processing the fact this conversation was actually happening without the aid of alcohol instead of looking to Steve for assurance that he wouldn't leave her for Tony.

"I'd kiss you," Clint offered kindly, "if you got me really drunk and I was feeling vulnerable."

"Thanks," Tony said sincerely.

"This isn't happy hour at The Rainbow Bar," Fury barked out, slamming his hand on the table. As Tony began a rather lengthy rant about time, place and the spectrum of sexuality, Steve and Darcy shared a smile. Maybe their relationship wouldn't be SHIELD's gossip fodder for too long.


End file.
